Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The only thing that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now.

Day two of my return to running. Day one consisted of running in my town, in VERY hot weather, and the result was a billion mosquito bites and feeling like I might die. However, despite it being brutal every step of the way, I managed a little over 4 miles. I was so focused on the heat that I wasn't focused on the fact that I was RUNNING again (probably because I was going VERY slowly due to the weather).

So day two comes (today), and I go to the gym to avoid heat and incoming massive storms. I go back to my FAVORITE treadmill - right under the fan - and I bring my ipod because I figured it would help. I started out fast - too fast - and I hit a wall before I hit two miles. I had to walk more than I wanted to, and my heart rate was sky rocketing. I needed a way to get through it.

Many of you probably know that I'm mildly obsessed with Kanye West. Not necessarily him as a person - he should probably keep his mouth shut most of the time - but I love his music. One of my classic running songs is "Stronger."

But after trying that and still not feeling it, I knew I needed something better. I put on "Jesus Walks," and it got me through. I'm not a particularly religious person, but it's a great song and a GREAT beat for running.

I got through 4.5 miles, and allowed myself a minute of self-pity when I went back to the locker room and slammed the locker closed. It's just frustrating. I knew I wouldn't be exactly back where I was, but 4 miles used to be nothing. And now it feels nearly impossible. My knees and legs were hurting and I was breathing so heavily that I just wanted to scream and hit something. What happened to my endurance? What happened to the person who, after running 10 miles for the first time, felt perfectly fine?

She had to take a month off from running, that's what happened. And I'll get it back. I KNOW I'll get it back. It's just going to take some time. In the meantime, I'll be frustrated, but I'll keep it in perspective. I thought about Mel who's recovering from a serious bike crash and head injury, and forced myself to hang in there for her, because she just went running for the first time since the accident, and she did it. I thought about Janae who's been dealing with injury after injury lately, and she's still doing what she can, and happily.

The point is, we all deal with setbacks. There's no point in letting it get you down to an extreme, because it will only make it worse. I thought about what Janae said recently - something along the lines of "one mile is a LOT" - because it is. ESPECIALLY when we're coming back from setbacks. There are so many people out there who don't even do ONE mile, and the fact that we're doing what we can (even if it's slower or harder than it used to be) is just. plain. awesome.

I'm in pain now. And I'm SO annoyed that I'm in pain after a measly 4.5 miles. But it's really not that measly. I took a month off, and ran a total of 8.68 miles in my first two days back. I'm going to be ok. We all are.

Stay positive, peeps. It changes everything.

And now, just to end this with a funny note, I saw this parked outside the gym tonight. What happens if he loses weight?

Have a good night and USE SUNSCREEN! (Small PSA for the evening.)


  1. YOU WILL GET BACK!! Girl, I am so sorry you were so frustrated and I COMPLETELY understand how hard it is to lose endurance but let's enjoy the PROCESS of getting back there together!!!

  2. You'll get it back and before you know it four miles will be nothing again! It's so tough getting back into it, but they don't call it muscle memory for nothing. Also, what are you running in? If you're using the Merrells, your body is probably not used to minimalist shoes yet.