The only thing that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now.

Day two of my return to running. Day one consisted of running in my town, in VERY hot weather, and the result was a billion mosquito bites and feeling like I might die. However, despite it being brutal every step of the way, I managed a little over 4 miles. I was so focused on the heat that I wasn't focused on the fact that I was RUNNING again (probably because I was going VERY slowly due to the weather).

So day two comes (today), and I go to the gym to avoid heat and incoming massive storms. I go back to my FAVORITE treadmill - right under the fan - and I bring my ipod because I figured it would help. I started out fast - too fast - and I hit a wall before I hit two miles. I had to walk more than I wanted to, and my heart rate was sky rocketing. I needed a way to get through it.

Many of you probably know that I'm mildly obsessed with Kanye West. Not necessarily him as a person - he should probably keep his mouth shut most of the time - but I love his music. One of my classic running songs is "Stronger."



But after trying that and still not feeling it, I knew I needed something better. I put on "Jesus Walks," and it got me through. I'm not a particularly religious person, but it's a great song and a GREAT beat for running.



I got through 4.5 miles, and allowed myself a minute of self-pity when I went back to the locker room and slammed the locker closed. It's just frustrating. I knew I wouldn't be exactly back where I was, but 4 miles used to be nothing. And now it feels nearly impossible. My knees and legs were hurting and I was breathing so heavily that I just wanted to scream and hit something. What happened to my endurance? What happened to the person who, after running 10 miles for the first time, felt perfectly fine?

She had to take a month off from running, that's what happened. And I'll get it back. I KNOW I'll get it back. It's just going to take some time. In the meantime, I'll be frustrated, but I'll keep it in perspective. I thought about Mel who's recovering from a serious bike crash and head injury, and forced myself to hang in there for her, because she just went running for the first time since the accident, and she did it. I thought about Janae who's been dealing with injury after injury lately, and she's still doing what she can, and happily.

The point is, we all deal with setbacks. There's no point in letting it get you down to an extreme, because it will only make it worse. I thought about what Janae said recently - something along the lines of "one mile is a LOT" - because it is. ESPECIALLY when we're coming back from setbacks. There are so many people out there who don't even do ONE mile, and the fact that we're doing what we can (even if it's slower or harder than it used to be) is just. plain. awesome.

I'm in pain now. And I'm SO annoyed that I'm in pain after a measly 4.5 miles. But it's really not that measly. I took a month off, and ran a total of 8.68 miles in my first two days back. I'm going to be ok. We all are.

Stay positive, peeps. It changes everything.

And now, just to end this with a funny note, I saw this parked outside the gym tonight. What happens if he loses weight?



Have a good night and USE SUNSCREEN! (Small PSA for the evening.)

Falling in and out of love.

I should start this entry by saying that I am ashamed at how long it has been since I last posted. It's been a couple months. I could tell you all of my reasons, but there are no excuses. But here's a rundown of what has been going on with me.

I participated in my second triathlon, and I still don't even want to talk about it - a month and a half later. It was a poorly run race, and the female novice group was put in a bad position. We had a limited amount of time to get through the bike portion, and the female novice wave started last - giving us even LESS time to get through both the swim and the bike. If I had had an extra ten minutes, I would have been fine. But as it was, they stopped about five of us, ripped off our timing chips, and told us that our race was over. I still bubble over with anger when I think about it. Especially since, before that point, I was having a really good race. I ran T1 and wasn't feeling fatigued. I could have had a really solid race, but no. I dealt with a swim and bike in the pouring rain only to get a forced DNF. And I don't do DNF.


Two weeks later, Jake, Ethan, B, and I participated in the Warrior Dash. The entire race consisted of 6 inches to 2 feet of mud at any given point, so I had to walk most of the race as to avoid injury.


Despite my best attempts at avoiding injury, when the race finished, I removed my shoes and the blood started pouring. A couple of my toes and a section of the arch of my other foot were rubbed so raw that even now, a month later, it's not entirely healed. This was my first reason for taking a break from running/biking - I literally couldn't put on close-toed shoes for weeks.


(My legs and feet after the Warrior Dash. Yes, my bruises are sexy.)

The other reason is that I had a tattoo surgically removed, and I had to heal to a certain extent before I was allowed to do ANYTHING.

So that brings me to here. It's been a month since I've been running, I've gained some weight along with a lot of frustration. That negative triathlon experienced affected me more than it should have. It brought me down mentally and I fell out of love with being an athlete for a little while. Then the Warrior Dash happened, and what was supposed to redeem my love of running just knocked me out of the game entirely for a while.

Technically I'm signed up for a triathlon in Boston in a week, but I doubt I'll do it. I'm entirely physically unprepared, and I shouldn't do anything that extreme on my arm at this point. But running?

It's time for me to fall back in love with running.

I signed up the Atlanta Marathon in March 2012, knowing that the best way for me to get back on the wagon is to have a goal.


I signed up for the Seacoast Half Marathon in November here in NH, because as my (almost) half way point month-wise till March, it'll be a good time to check on my half marathon time. I'm sure I'll sign up for more as they come along.

Tonight, I'm watching the Spirit of the Marathon to get myself pumped up. Marathon training officially starts tomorrow.

Lastly, I get married two months from today. I totally have time to train. Right? Right. (Oof.)

If anyone can recommend any running books I should read, please do. Not really form or strategy - just the love of the sport. Pleeeasse. :)