Falling in and out of love.

I should start this entry by saying that I am ashamed at how long it has been since I last posted. It's been a couple months. I could tell you all of my reasons, but there are no excuses. But here's a rundown of what has been going on with me.

I participated in my second triathlon, and I still don't even want to talk about it - a month and a half later. It was a poorly run race, and the female novice group was put in a bad position. We had a limited amount of time to get through the bike portion, and the female novice wave started last - giving us even LESS time to get through both the swim and the bike. If I had had an extra ten minutes, I would have been fine. But as it was, they stopped about five of us, ripped off our timing chips, and told us that our race was over. I still bubble over with anger when I think about it. Especially since, before that point, I was having a really good race. I ran T1 and wasn't feeling fatigued. I could have had a really solid race, but no. I dealt with a swim and bike in the pouring rain only to get a forced DNF. And I don't do DNF.


Two weeks later, Jake, Ethan, B, and I participated in the Warrior Dash. The entire race consisted of 6 inches to 2 feet of mud at any given point, so I had to walk most of the race as to avoid injury.


Despite my best attempts at avoiding injury, when the race finished, I removed my shoes and the blood started pouring. A couple of my toes and a section of the arch of my other foot were rubbed so raw that even now, a month later, it's not entirely healed. This was my first reason for taking a break from running/biking - I literally couldn't put on close-toed shoes for weeks.


(My legs and feet after the Warrior Dash. Yes, my bruises are sexy.)

The other reason is that I had a tattoo surgically removed, and I had to heal to a certain extent before I was allowed to do ANYTHING.

So that brings me to here. It's been a month since I've been running, I've gained some weight along with a lot of frustration. That negative triathlon experienced affected me more than it should have. It brought me down mentally and I fell out of love with being an athlete for a little while. Then the Warrior Dash happened, and what was supposed to redeem my love of running just knocked me out of the game entirely for a while.

Technically I'm signed up for a triathlon in Boston in a week, but I doubt I'll do it. I'm entirely physically unprepared, and I shouldn't do anything that extreme on my arm at this point. But running?

It's time for me to fall back in love with running.

I signed up the Atlanta Marathon in March 2012, knowing that the best way for me to get back on the wagon is to have a goal.


I signed up for the Seacoast Half Marathon in November here in NH, because as my (almost) half way point month-wise till March, it'll be a good time to check on my half marathon time. I'm sure I'll sign up for more as they come along.

Tonight, I'm watching the Spirit of the Marathon to get myself pumped up. Marathon training officially starts tomorrow.

Lastly, I get married two months from today. I totally have time to train. Right? Right. (Oof.)

If anyone can recommend any running books I should read, please do. Not really form or strategy - just the love of the sport. Pleeeasse. :)

Complete a triathlon - check.

Today I completed the King Pine (sprint distance) Triathlon. I don't have time (slash the desire) to write a full race report right now, so until then, enjoy these pictures.

LOVE

This is a short post, but I just needed to share this.

So, Janae brought my attention to this AWESOMESAUCE website.

If you're an athlete and you like jewelry at ALL, there's something there for you. I just ordered a necklace, and I couldn't be more excited about it. This is mine, and it's a Joan of Arc quote. I CANNOT WAIT TO GET IT IN THE MAIL.



Go there. Spend your hard-earned money. ENJOY.

Mental Training

‎5: days left of classes
4: days left of babysitting
3: papers (and Shakespeare posts) left to write
2: Classics finals
1: take home exam and portfolio to construct
0: motivation

I'm down to the last crunch of the semester, and I'm spent. I feel like I have nothing left - and it's really not a good time for that. But this past weekend I reached a new level with my mental training, and I wanted to share this with the class (/y'all).

On Saturday I had the most difficult of all of my MTELs (read: crazy Massachusetts teacher tests). I had less than two days to prepare for it because of school work and babysitting, and this is not an exam you can NOT prepare for. Basically, I retaught myself a semester's worth of information in one night. It's not that I didn't KNOW the information, it's that ever since I've learned it, I've applied it. I know how to apply it. Follow me in a classroom (or even while I'm babysitting) and you will see it left and right. But the exact definition of phonemic awareness v. phonological awareness? Ugh. This is where the studying came in.

On Saturday morning as I angrily got up and got ready, everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. In my exhaustion, I stubbed my toe and jammed it. (Also, this was my barely healed broken big toe... so that's fun.) I couldn't find my favorite sweatshirt. It was raining and FREEZING (yay for New Hampshire in April). I was starting to get that feeling - that feeling like "if my morning is going this poorly, why do I think I can do this test and pass it?" I was getting down on myself the entire drive to the exam, and beating myself up for not quitting my job sooner, not asking for that paper extension sooner, not studying sooner.


I just wanted to give up.

And then it hit me - all of the best races I've ever had came after an AWFUL morning. They always start with no good very bad days, and then I set PRs and have a blast. So why was I allowing myself to get so cynical?

Because I wasn't in the racing mindset. Because this is an exam, not a race. But isn't everything related to racing at this point? I tell myself that I can crank out a paper if I'm in the "right mindset," just like I tell myself I can crank out 10 miles on the treadmill if I'm in the "right mindset." Why is it any different? Well, it's not. At least it shouldn't be. So I changed my mindset.

I told myself I was going to have an awesome test. Our kitten Barley (or as I call her, Cat #2) was "helping" me take a practice test on Friday night, and I passed that even with the little leech climbing on my shoulder, licking my glasses, and eating my hair. If I can pass a practice test under Extreme Kitten Duress, of course I could handle this.


And, while I don't know if I passed or not yet, I do feel good about it. And I would be genuinely surprised if I failed.

This was originally going to be a post about my new bike pedals (clip-ins, baby!) and how much I ADORE them and how I desperately need a road bike instead of the bike I have now, but I got sidetracked. All of you with these pedals understand how awesome they are, and the rest of you... just go get them. They're worth it. It's crazy how much more power you get. But more importantly, work on your mental training. It's just as important (if not more important) than the physical aspects, and it can have an effect on the rest of your life. I credit my athlete's brain with my success on Saturday, and I'm grateful that I am capable of this kind of mental manipulation at this point in my life. It's a powerful thing.

Now to kick this mindset back into gear for the rest of my semester...

~~

When do you think this mindset helps you the most (outside of sports)?

Definitely anything academic.

Did you do anything fun for Easter?

We visited Jake's grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins down in Massachusetts. I ate ALLLLL this food.


(Not really. I ate the spinach pie, potatoes, veggies, and rolls. I'm the token vegetarian everywhere I go.)

I also got to play with one of my favorite dogs ever - Oreo. He is a standard poodle and the most huggable pony on the planet. If we get a third dog (ha), I want a standard poodle.



I need some new music. Recommend something.

:D

~~

Creeper

I've found a new hobby! It's called scoping-out-real-estate-while-running-in-the-rain. The rain part is VITAL because if it's nice out, the people are outside and can see you creeping around their driveways and trying to check out their backyards. The rain leads to some soggy feet so it's important to not make this a LONG run, but it's a fun one. Today I scoped out three different properties until a dog alerted attention to me and I ran off before I was caught.

No, I'm not in the market for a house. But aren't they fun to look at? (We've already established that I'm obsessed with HGTV - you shouldn't be that surprised.) And they're right in my area! So if I DID want a house, it'd be a great location! ...Yeah, I'm creepy.

I used running entirely for stress management today, and I didn't wear my Garmin because I didn't want to get it wet (and it was POURING). So here's the problem with that:

I wasn't monitoring my heart rate, and I was in a bad mood. I've been known for running too hard when I'm in a bad mood, because it gets the bad juju out faster. I've also been known to pull things when doing this. Luckily, I didn't pull anything. BUT my heart rate sky rocketed.

I should backtrack here. I've been having heart rate issues for a while now. I noticed while running on the treadmill that if I got past like 5.3 speed, it jumps up to 180+. I ignored it for a while (I know, stupid) and then after the first time I saw it go over 200, I panicked and have been hyper aware of it ever since. I'm still slow for one primary reason - my heart rate. If I run faster than 11 minute miles (sometimes even 12), my heart rate goes up - and keeps going up. I've been good about monitoring it but I still haven't figured out what to do about it. I've been waiting for my health insurance to kick in, and now that it has, I need to figure out who to go to for a check up.

Back to today. I was running hard and, for a stretch, in an area without a sidewalk. That led to a spontaneous practice of parkour (shout out to Katie for introducing that term to me) while running faster that my heart was comfortable with. My body was fine, and that's the thing that's continuing to confuse me. It's NOT that I'm not capable of faster speeds, it's that my heart FREAKS OUT. So I turned down a side road and leaned against a stop sign for a few minutes and took my heart rate the old fashioned way and it was definitely above 200. Wtf, mate?

To say that it wasn't comfortable would be putting it lightly. I didn't exactly feel like I was having a heart attack, but I was kind of dizzy and felt... weird. Just very off. I waited until it calmed down before I jogged (slowly) home.

I'm a creeper and a freakazoid. And yes, I know, I will be making an appointment with a doctor. Soon.

But for now, this is what happened when I tried to take a picture of how soaked I was after my run:


(Thanks, Knightley.)

Hugs for Janae.

Janae over at http://www.hungryrunnergirl.com/ just found out that she can't run Boston, and we're giving her as many hugs as possible. Therefore, these are pictures of HUGS from my young years to more recent years. And to everyone else who's in these pics, just remember, it's for a good cause. There's even a hug from my Knightley in here. WE ALL LOVE YOU, JANAE!!!

Two Tangent Tuesday

I'm doing Two Tangent Tuesday (just like Janae, Leslie, and Maia) for the first time ever. Here we go.

1. I don't function without caffeine. I'm mentioning this on today of all days because I got to Dunkin Donuts this morning to get my daily unsweetened iced tea and discovered that I was missing all of my cards and my ID. I had my wallet, but no methods of payment. This is because I actually used a purse over the weekend, and my stuff was still in there. I freaked out while driving down to school because the caffeine headache was starting, and I wasn't sure how I was going to survive the day. In my frantic state I sent a facebook message to a friend and she did me a HUGE favor by grabbing me an iced tea when she was at DD. I have the best friends ever. (Even when they're really just acquaintances that I did a presentation with.)



2. I have an unhealthy obsession with HGTV. Yesterday was my day off from class and the day where I usually try to get a TON of work done, but there was a marathon of "Income Property" on HGTV, so I got nothing done. (But isn't he fun to look at?)



That's it for today, I just felt the need to do SOMETHING and it's really not that hard to write two tangents about myself. I dare you to do the same thing!

Questions:

1. What's your drug of choice? Mine is caffeine. I only drink one caffeinated thing per day, and it's always first thing in the morning. I used to drink soda but since that was so dehydrating, I unofficially switched to iced tea. I say unofficially because I'll still get Diet Coke sometimes when I'm out because it tastes SO good when it's a fountain drink, but otherwise, I heart my tea.

2. When you're doing work do you like silence or background noise? I use HGTV as background noise. Except when "Income Property" is on - then I have to pay attention.